Tag: God

family and friends

To have Loved and Lost?

Posted on by Susan Porter

As the weekend comes to a close and as I sit here tonight, for the first time I feel lonely.  I miss not having someone who I love to sit with, talk to, share my day, hold, kiss, laugh or just to be in each others company.  I have always been a very independent person, happy with or without someone and confident and comfortable with who I am.  This isn’t about being alone at all.  After forty-four years, I finally know what it feels like to love and to be loved only to have it all just go away one day, as it never happened. It seems so long ago but it’s only been 9 months.

I lost you

Is it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved before?  If you would have asked me this 3 years ago, my answer would have unequivocally been yes, without a doubt.  Love is a very intense, wonderful feeling.  It is euphoric and a happiness like no other.  To love and to have lost is the most painful heartache that I have ever experienced in my entire life.  To give everything that is you to another person, leaves you very vulnerable to the worst heartbreak anyone could ever imagine.  So, is it worth the risk?

Even though the pain has been crippling leaving too many days to count, I thought I would never make it.  Honestly I didn’t care if I did or didn’t.  I have never felt so alone even though I had family and friends that supported and helped me make it to where I am today.  No one wants to be alone.  It is human nature to want to share your life, you day, the good ones and the bad with someone you love.  God did not intended us to be solitary.  We find comfort and warmth when we have loved ones to share our lives with.

I have been working on a blog about this experience, but it has been difficult.  Having to re-live all the pain and misery has been difficult but I’m working through it, slowly.  As I mentioned before, my goal is to put out a blog at least twice a week, that being Mondays and Fridays.  So I am pushing through and I hope to be back on track.  I hope that my experiences will help and maybe give comfort to others who have had similar events happen to them.  I will continue to work on my blog about depression and will post it as soon as it is completed, but until then, there are many things waiting to be discussed.

I am always open and welcome discussions on this topic or any others so don’t be shy.

 

life in America

“A Nation Gone Under”

Posted on by Susan Porter

I can’t imagine calling anywhere else in the world home.  I remember growing up, my family instilled in me what an honor it is to be an American.  It’s the land of the free and the home of the brave.  Even today, despite all that is wrong with our great country, I am still proud to call this my home and myself an American.  The men and women of our armed forces have fought, many have given their lives so that we have the freedoms we do today.

It’s time that we as Americans go back to a more simple time when we believed in the word of God and live by the Amendments of the Constitution on which this great country was founded.  This is not intended to be a rant of religion or politics, but a message of how we need to treat our fellow Americans.  We should “love thy neighbor” and “treat others the way we would want to be treated”.  Ronald Reagan said it best, “If we ever forget that we are One Nation Under God, then we will be one nation gone under.”

With that said, it would never matter if you are black, white, hispanic, middle eastern, oriental, straight, gay, transgender, conservative, liberal….I think you get the point.  I have friends of all race and sexual preference.  I don’t think any less or any more of them if we don’t see things the same way.  We all don’t have to believe in the same ideas or beliefs.  Everyone is entitled to voice his or her opinions.  It’s a little thing we call the 1st Amendment and one of the many reasons what it means to be an American.  This is our right, but it his does not give us the right to be disrespectful to others who don’t share the same opinions or beliefs as you or I.  Just because it’s different doesn’t mean it’s wrong.

There will always be differences.  (“Haters”, hate groups, white supremacy, racism the list goes on and on.)  No one is born to hate, hate is learned and/or taught.  I wish this wasn’t the case but it is and probably always will be.  I see these individuals as ignorant.  Not stupid, but ignorant.  There is a difference.  Ignorant is uneducated or lacking knowledge and anyone can fix that through education.  Stupid on the other hand, in my opinion is lacking intelligence and common sense (which appears to almost non-existent today, The Sad Passing of Common Sense ) and the inability to achieve higher learning. We are always most afraid of things we know little or nothing about.  No one race is better than any other.  To say that any one race are all criminals, simply just isn’t true.  There are good and bad people in every race.

This very same thing could be said about the travel ban.  America is not saying that all of these people are bad, only that there are bad people who’s intentions are not as honest as we would like to believe.  This is not meant to offend, but to protect you and I and our other fellow Americans from the dangers outside our boarders.  To just allow anyone to come into America to stay or live without the proper documentation, is insulting to the people who have worked hard and are proud of  being legal American citizens.  America has never said to ANYONE that you are not welcome.  All we are asking is that you come to America legally.  Don’t just take my word for it.  Here is what one of our own soldiers had to say about people beyond our boarders ( U.S. Marine Speaks the Truth).  Other countries in the world have different beliefs and ideas.  Some of the countries do not hold our same beliefs and they do not value life as we Americans do. We need to stop holding the hands of the countries that do nothing but spit in our faces.freedom

 

 

family and friends

In The Beginning…

Posted on by Susan Porter

Do you ever wonder what it is that makes life fun and worth living?  This is something I  have thought about and questioned especially over the last several months.  I think about what makes life fun, worth living and enjoyable.  I always come back to the same answers.  Family and friends, the people in our lives that are important to us. They make the things we do fun and exciting. We always look forward to spending time with the special people in our lives.  They are the ones who make us smile, laugh and just bring us joy and a good time.

These people are the ones we love, care about and trust with our most private thoughts. They are also the same people that can hurt, betray, let us down and leaving us wondering why the ones so close to us could hurt us so deeply.  We are so invested in these relationships that when this bond is broken or damaged in any way, it hurts us so deeply.  It causes us sometimes overwhelming pain, sadness, depression, anger and distrust. We trust our family and friends with our most personal thoughts, joys, and concerns.  We are totally invested in our friends and loved ones, or at least we should be.
Not having these people in our lives can make our lives feel lonely with little enjoyment and nothing fun or exciting to look forward to.

We all go through things in our life. Events is what I like to call them.  They are usually life changing in some way, whether it is good, bad, happy or sad.  These events make us stronger although at times it doesn’t seem always be the case.  Leaving us feeling like we are at our lowest and weakest possible point.

I have always been told that God would never give us more that we can handle. There have been many times that I have questioned this as I’m sure many others have as well.  I have even questioned God as to why he would let something bad happen to us.  At times life doesn’t always seem fair and why would God want anyone to feel such hurt, pain and sadness?  It is all part of the journey of life shaping us into who we are. Sometimes, bad things happen to good people.  Each of these events big or small, point us in new and sometimes different directions that we thought we may never find ourselves going.

This is what brought me here today.  Several months ago I found myself in a place I never thought would every happen. It was a huge life changing event.  I found myself  in the darkest, lowest place in my life.  Honestly, it was a place that I thought I would never find my way out of.  It made me realize that sharing my story would not only help me get well, it could possibly help others.