Most days I’m good and I have come a long way in the last year. I still have moments in some days that I’m sad and/or lonely. I have never been one to be lonely, nor have I ever needed anyone and I have always been fine on my own, but now a part of me is missing.

I miss the love, friendship and companionship if the man I fell in love with. I wish things had never changed. I loved my life and it was finally complete with him in it. Now that he’s gone and even though we are talking and I am unsure of what our future holds and I know that things will never be the same.

It is still very difficult at times for me to understand. This man who I thought loved me so, has left me questioning if his love was real. I know in my heart that he did love me, as what we had can’t be faked. Sadly, he has things to work out within himself and what we had may never be again. I have accepted this but the hurt still cuts deep. When I see two people in love who are happy and truly enjoying each other, I feel the pain and emptiness in my heart that was for a brief moment in my life, full of love for a man who made me feel so alive, whole and complete. All I can do is wonder if I will ever be lucky enough to have that again someday.

So as days go by, I just move forward towards an uncertain future, not knowing where life will take me. I’m just sad to think of what could have been and wondering if there are any good guys left in this world?